Just a girl.

I had just finished having a late dinner with Megan and we started watching a movie on Netflix. Megan received a text from some college friends to join them bowling and as I was still in my workout clothes from a 10am session, I declined.

I curled up on the couch with my comfiest blanket only to realize 20 minutes after she left that a hot shower and reading a book in bed is how I wanted to spend the rest of my evening.

I turned off the tv and all of the lights and I locked the front door.

I set my iPhone to play my "E" playlist and soon relaxed in the heat of hot water. Once the water was turned off and I was wrapped in my towel I heard noises. We live on a busy street so I assumed it was the typical foot traffic. 

I turned off the lights in my bathroom and headed straight to my bedroom leaving the bathroom cracked to let the steam out. I put my iphone on my bed and suddenly realized the noises were too loud to be outside.

I tiptoed into my dark house with my towel wrapped tightly trying to see if Megan was home. Instead I saw the tv on and an empty living room.

Megan?

It was just me.

I turned off the tv and walked back to my room.

As soon as I made it to my door, I heard the sound from the tv again.

I ran to the tv and once again with the remote, turned it off.

I sat there and waited.

It flickered on.

I pressed mute and this time ran to my room. I closed the door and grabbed my phone.

I called Ashley. They were finishing Vik's birthday dinner and told me to walk around the house to make sure no one was there. I hung up.

I called my parents.

By now I was in the corner of my room, still in just a towel... but sobbing.

As my parents stayed on the phone I put pajamas on then continued to huddle as far from the door as possible wishing I had a lock on my bedroom door.

They coaxed me out and had me turn on every light in the house then look in every conceivable place a person could hide.

With each door to look behind, I shook with fear and tears streaming down my face.

Closets. Under beds. Checking locks.

With the remote I turned the tv off again. And waited.

It flickered on.

With no hesitation, I went straight for the power cord on the tv and ripped it out of the socket. I turned off every light, crawled into bed, and talked to my mom until I calmed down.

My brother in law lives about a mile a way and I have a Marine living next door, none of that made me feel safe.

I've put myself in terrible situations before; walking alone when I shouldn't have, photographing events at 5am in the tenderloin of San Francisco, allowing a homeless man to walk me home at 2am in San Jose... I was never the cautious child in my family. 

But the thought of something or someone in my home sent me over the edge.

My tough bravado went quickly out the door and I instantly became a little girl who only wanted her parents that were 200 miles away.