My mom signed me up a long time ago after my boyfriend and I had recently broken up. She knew that I was busy with work, uninterested in the bar scene and still hopelessly caught on the one that got away.
At that time, I wasn't ready so I froze the account until I thought I was.
When the time came I activated it; I put up the pictures that best reflect who I am and little copy to describe my quirks and attractions. I got winks, pokes, likes, looks and an occasional message. I went out with a few people who were very nice but all in all it was a lot of work for something I wasn't looking for.
I think online dating is great for some people. In fact, I know many couples who are together because of it and a lot of them are married.
But I learned that it wasn't for me.
I need a story. A moment when you see someone and can't let them walk by without asking why they look so familiar. I am a very strong girl... I have a big personality and I am looking for someone that can handle that nor are they intimidated by it. Instead, they can reach out and not let that moment pass.
Love takes a risk. It thrives on awkward moments and vulnerability. Online didn't give me that.
Instead, it picked out people who they thought were best (all super outdoorsy which is... odd) and then allowed me to sit behind a computer and disect pictures, quips of copy, and messages all without having to look someone in the eye.
I have some physical traits that I am drawn to but it is always the person's character that entices me. Character can be revealed online but it is one-dimensional. Anyone can fake who they are but in person traits leak and true quality shows through.
But in truth, in the communication from computer to computer (or in my case, iPhone) it is so much easier to make an initial judgement and move on. That is what makes online lack so much for me: It is too safe. We can sit behind our walls and not actually experience life.
It should be obvious, but I cancelled my account. I am so glad that I tried it because I can say without hesitation that it isn't for me. I am sure I will continue to have friends who are matched by it and perhaps even fall in love from it. I will even encourage my single friends to attempt it and decide for themselves.
And who knows, perhaps one of the people I have met off it will eventually become something more than a casual few dates.... we all know I am superb at eating my own words.
