Weekend for Two

As 2-year long-distance relationship veterans, my boyfriend Ryan and I have gotten pretty darn good at planning weekends together. With him in Los Angeles and me in Seattle, it can be tough to set out the time to fly to each other, and tough to know what to do with the limited time we have together. Since my whole family is in LA, my trips down there most likely involve a mix of family time and couple time, not to mention trying to work in friend time as well. His trips to Seattle are easier to work with: there are a smaller number of friends we want to spend time with and no family time with which to contend. I love these weekends in Seattle and see in them what life will be like in the future when we live in the same place and our patterns of life are a little more normal. In the end, I’m really complaining about a fantastic blessing- tons of family and friends and a wonderful boy that I want to spend every second with- but still, it is something that requires balance, planning, and a good dose of unselfishness.

Without further ado, here is my anatomy of a perfect weekend with my main man:

1. Eat one dinner out and one dinner at home: I’ve tried only cooking and I’ve tried only going out. I personally love to cook and feel that these dinners at my apartment in Seattle are really my only time to share this part of me with Ryan. But I also really want him to be part of my life experiencing the city of Seattle, and trying out new restaurants is a huge part of that. I try to save restaurants I’m especially looking forward to for the weekends when he’s around, and they are an even more special treat since I get to share them with him.

• Word to the wise- If you are cooking at home, DON’T try some crazy recipe that you’ve never done before that will take hours and have you harried and stressed. I’ve done it many a time and it never works out the way you want it to. Dinners at home with the one you love should be relaxed and cozy, and allow time for a smooch or two. Try this one- it’s a guaranteed winner.

Orrechiette with Sausage and Greens:

• 1 lb orrechiette pasta

• 1 lb turkey or pork Italian sausage, casings removed

• Olive oil

• 4 cups fresh spinach or 2 cups fresh chopped swiss chard or kale

• 3 garlic cloves, minced

• Pinch of crushed red pepper flakes

• ¼ cup grated parmesan cheese, plus more for serving

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add orrechiette and cook according to package instructions. Drain in a colander reserving 1 cup of cooking water. Meanwhile, heat a few tablespoons of olive oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add garlic and sauté for 30 seconds or so until fragrant. Add sausage and cook, breaking apart with a fork, until heated through. Add greens and red pepper flakes and combine until greens are wilted. Add pasta and parmesan and stir to combine, adding cooking water by the ¼ cup until the desired saucy consistency is reached. Serve with parmesan cheese and a light red wine like Sangiovese.

2. Include a dose of activity: Seattle is full of fun ways to spend a nice day, whether with hiking, kayaking, or taking a good walk. In our earlier days, we never planned any of these types of outings and ended up spending all our Saturdays and Sundays eating and watching TV and being extremely lazy. While I love being lazy (see below), I also think its important to take advantage of activities at our disposal and at the end of the weekend I feel like we’ve accomplished something rather than feeling guilty for not doing anything of substance. We even tried snowshoeing for the first time one cloudy day this winter and it was so fun taking part in a new activity together. I think for both of us it is one of our favorite memories in all our time together.

3. But be lazy too! I know that one of the things I dream of in being in a relationship is those lazy nights where you sit at home and watch a movie and do positively nothing. I know those nights will be somewhat normal for us when we are in one place in the future but for now they seem like a dream. I think it’s important to at least have half a day or a night when you do nothing at all and can just be. I have a severe planning disorder that requires me to plan every second of every day and it’s hard for me to say no to other things and “plan” time to do nothing. But oh, how nice it can be.

4. Have some time with friends, and have some time alone: Making for alone time has never been a problem for me because we get so little of it, but making time for friends while Ryan is in town is just as important. I learned this over time as I would spend time with friends and constantly try to talk about him and no one knew the person I was talking about. It’s awfully nice to be able to talk about your significant other and have friends that know him. In the same way, it’s nice to talk to him and have him know the friends I’m talking about. So much easier to say “Holly said this” than “You know that girl I met a couple months ago who works here and does this and who I went to that restaurant with? She said…” Not to mention, I’m hoping these friends won’t just be my friends while I’m in Seattle and they should probably be friends with Ryan too. 

5. Have an anchor for after he leaves: I am always so depressed when I drop Ryan off at the airport and have to go home alone. I’ve learned that I should always make plans with a good friend for those Sunday nights so I have something to look forward to. It has gotten easier over time to deal with the Sunday blues, but having a friend to share a glass of wine with and keep my mind off it makes it that much easier. 

6. In the end, the most important thing for me personally to remember is that this isn’t our only time together ever and everything has to be perfect. Our plans will not always go perfectly. There might be an airport delay or car trouble. Maybe the recipe I make for dinner will turn out horribly. But stressing out about those things doesn’t get me anywhere, and I have to just relax and enjoy the time we have because in the end, it is the things that go wrong that usually end up being the best stories. Lucky for me, I am accident prone.