A New Year

(image from Bijou and Boheme)

To a new year...

I have mixed feelings about 2010 and I can't decide if I will miss this year or wish it quickly forgotten.

Overall, I think I have grown to be a stronger person, much in part to little wins and big failures.

Earlier this month I wrote 5 resolutions for 2011 and actionable tasks to help me accomplish them. And then I scratched the list and started over. I, instead, wanted 5 items that come December 31, 2011 I can check off as yes or no... no questions asked.

Looking back at my resolutions, ultimately they revolved around being happy. Since happiness is relative and I have no interest in defining my happiness (sorry too personal) you are stuck with what happiness looks like for me through my resolutions.

I will read 50 books in 52 weeks.

I will successfully do a hand catch and return on the flying trapeze.

I will dance the entire night at my sister's wedding.

I will take a trip alone.

I will sell/get rid of Club RAV.

And for a resolution that every year I never give up:

I will do one thing a month I have never done before.

Plans to Match a Dress

I thought I had to work New Years Eve. In fact, I was pretty sure I had to work New Years Eve and early New Years day too.

Turns out, I have NYE off. (Woot! Woot!)

But that meant finding an outfit and depending upon said outfit, deciding on my plans.

Some might think that plans come first/outfit second but no... the dress always determines the evening.

I searched high and low... I had no luck at Nordstrom.

Some luck at Amazon.

And then I struck gold at Mod Cloth.

I knew I wanted a little black dress that would be fun for a night out but also for work. I also know that for my body type, the shape is most important... I need a bit of structure and an hour glass shape.

I found this dress and thought it was decent enough to look further.

And then I saw the backside and fell in love. I love bowties and bows and with a hint of backlessness, I knew this was the dress for me.

What are you wearing this NYE and do your plans match your dress?


Update: I couldn't want until NYE to wear the dress and paired this number with a black camisole and winter tights then wore it to my Christmas Eve service at church. It was borderline too short for church... but I did it anyway!

With my family

I don't have a full length but I did photobomb a picture of my parents. So you can have a half glance!

I've fallen in love

If anyone can find me these Miu Miu shoes (size 7.5, beautiful condition) I promise my unending love.

 

If you like it then you should have put a ring on it...

Most women start planning their wedding while they are still little girls. Perhaps it's Disney's fault in giving us stories of princesses... but I think it may just be a hardwired desire in us.

Most women.

I can't remember planning my wedding as a child and now as an adult, I don't have that ache. My mom and sister like to append that thought with a "yet" and a "just wait until you meet the right man." We'll see mom and sis, we'll see...

Last week I received an e-mail from my mom inviting me to a Bravo Wedding event held at Embassy Suites Downtown. Part of her job includes facilitating weddings and special events and she wanted a buddy to tag along. She sold me with promises of cupcakes and champagne.

We walked into the event, handed over our tickets and after our names were checked off / badges given, I received the warmest welcome from the hostess.

"WHEN IS THE DATE?"

confused

"WRITE IT DOWN ON THE FRONT!"

still confused

She continues talking about the brochures she keeps handing over and I look down at my badge

BRIDE

I looked over at my moms badge

GUEST

I gasp with a "What am I suppose to write?" which my mom replies laughing Fall 2011.


What have I gotten myself into?

I then spent the next two hours eating cupcakes, drinking champagne... AND talking about my Fall 2011 wedding. Apparently I have a fabulous fiance, planning for an October wedding with intimate reception, my colors are unknown, my venue is unknown, my caterer is uknown, my photographer IS known, I don't have a dress, I have a maid of honor, I have a beautiful ring (thanks for the props mom), and yes I am quite stressing since I am so late on planning but we are madly in love and isn't that what matters?

Brides all over Portland had a wonderful day planning their wedding at Embassy Suites. I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck thanks to my mom's silly idea to turn her not-ready-to-commit-daughter into a bride.

The day recapped by twitter...

 

And my favorite response....

 

Have your pants shrunk?

Once upon a time there was this awful thing called capris and it made every woman look like she had cankles. Thankfully, the pants either grew or shrunk a couple of inches and our ankles were back to being dainty and tiny.

Please welcome the return of the cropped pant.

This not long-not short pant was perfected by Audrey Hepburn, my style icon, and has become my current obsession. Whether it's skinny jeans, ponte black pants, or a harem pant I can be seen day in / day out / rain / shine showing off my ankles.

Trust me and try it. To make the leap easier, below are 2 of my favorites (And yes, I actually own them!)

Live

One of the most vivid memories from my childhood was the day I found out my best friend and cousin had died.

It was a Sunday night and we had just gotten back from church. I remember being so mad at my parents for making us go that night because I would have much rather stayed home to play. Before I knew it, my dad was on the phone receiving news that my cousin, Tiffani, had passed away at 14 years of age.

That was the first time I can remember ever seeing my dad cry.

Tiffani was born with a heart defect. The doctors barely gave her 6 months to live but year after year she proved them wrong. My cousin practically lived in the hospital but she had a spirit that could not be broken. Although we moved away from her when I was 2 years old, each summer the cousins reunited for a couple month stay at my grandparents. My sister and Tiffani’s younger sister were best friends and Tiffani was mine.

Her death was hard on all of us. She took a little piece of us when she left. But the biggest piece, she took from my grandparents.

No summer was the same after Tiffani was gone. Instead of lemonade stands on the street, we went berry picking in the cemetery. It felt like life had ceased to exist.

15+ years later and we have come to today.

Earlier this week my grandma was admitted to ICU for heart failure. Although her heart was weak it was because her lungs kept filling up with liquid that was the main cause. After four days of care she was able to return home.

I was able to take the day off on Sunday to visit her with my parents. As we sat together I saw my grandparents, who I love with all of my heart, not living the life that was meant for them. Instead, in a home filled with pictures of Tiffani, I saw a life they gave up on years ago.

We can so easily live in fear and sadness that we stop living.

That isn’t the life I want to live.

I want to live recklessly: reach for the stars, love with all my being, create something new, and accomplish the impossible.

And I have no time to waste.